Who in the World is Tommy Rehbein?

You may have asked yourself this question while reading this blog. It is becoming the thing everyone wants to know first when I come to town, and I get little notes from folks demanding to know the story! "Who is this boyfriend and how did you meet him?" SO, this isn't the WHOLE story, but it is a leetle bit to hopefully quench a bit of your curiosity.

We met in mid-February at my church which is confusingly called 'Church in Uptown'. When I explain that I go to 'Church in Uptown', people always ask "Which church in Uptown?" to which I reply 'Church in Uptown' at The Beat Coffeehouse. "Oh, what is it called?" they ask. I shrug.

On my way to church - which I am ALWAYS 5 min+ late to or more tho' I am only a 15 min. walk away - it was snowing such a beautiful snow I became all Anne-of-Green-Gables-y and had nearly convinced myself that I would take everyone outside on a walk in it and THAT would be church. It was painful to go in with such loveliness outside. I desisted from this plan w/effort.

I had just been attending since sometime in the fall. Tommy doesn't go there, but he gets coffee at The Beat (which they own/run) nearly every day. On this particular Sunday, he noticed the Sunday church gathering was happening, and thought he'd sneak into the back & chill. At some point he gave me a little wave, but I found out that was because he thought I was his friend Katie Nelson, who I have now met, and now understand how such a confusion could be possible.

I'm the kind of person who thinks 'church' is kinda what happens in the relationships you make after the gathering, moreso even than the 'formal part' we think of as church...so I'm often one of the last to leave, and I try to get to know new peeps, just because I am unendingly curious about folks. Tommy was one of these this week, so we chatted for a long time. He was very interesting but extraordinarily hard to read. Kinda poker-faced? In any case, he was waiting for a ride home from the pastor, but that took for-ever and eventually I said I was going to leave & walk home. He asked where I lived, and when I mentioned the address, he said he lived on my street too, just a few blocks nearer, and offered to walk me part-way home.

Well, it definitely felt like a mistake by about a half block from the church, where the snow and wind were so crazy that it was hard to open your eyes much less have a conversation. Blizzarding. We tromped single-file through snow-heaped sidewalks and finally found ourselves at his door. He invited me in to warm up & have a bit of food if I so desired...normally, my answer to this question coming from a guy I'd just met (who only lived 2 blocks from me) would be "no, that's ok, I'm pretty close!", but my snow-trammelled self could only think "yes please!" in my eagerness to NOT be so. Anyway, I came in, ate & chatted a bit and whatnot, and went home when the weather gods were appeased. :) Over the next month or so we were happy neighbors, doing stuff w/our friends & my roomies etc. Music or tea or movies or art shows or whatever was happening. Recording in the studio, even. He even wrote me letters - to reply, I'd have to walk 3 blocks to the post office box to send a letter to him 2 blocks away. Pretty silly. But nice.

I began to realize during this time that I really was 'proud' of the person I was discovering he was, if that word makes any sense at all (like, if you can be 'proud' of someone you've only just met...the word almost has ownership to it - we are 'proud' of our parents, our leaders sometimes, our friends - you might admire strangers, but you rarely say you're proud of them). Somewhere at the end of March/beginning of April things began to come clear, words were put to the thoughts we were having, and we decided to give "us" a shot! It's more complicated & charming than that - the whole story - but I am tired of typing and want to go enjoy LA today, so you can ask me more in person. In the meantime, there is a list I made early on, of '50 Reasons I Like My Boyfriend' which I will post, 10 reasons per day, this next week. Enjoy!