Woke this morning in Jennifer Falk Gray's lovely home. Pictured here with her are her hubby Eric & little ones Norah & Teddy (/Theo).Jen is a friend of mine from college. I don't know when we met. *Pause - asks Jen*
Jen's story: "I heard about the poetry ministry you were doing..." [Me: it was called 'Incarnational Ministries' and we were just a raggle taggle group o' kids from Moody Bible Institute that went out and attended poetry readings/performed weekly in the Chicago scene there, and then would meet once a week for dinner and pray for the folks we met/knew through it - I think it was both good for us to get out of the 'Moody bubble' as we called it, as it was good to be challenged by all sorts of viewpoints and also just how much it stretched us artistically, and for the folks we met as we kinda challenged their worldviews/
stereotypes of Christians as well.] Jen (continued): "...and I came with a friend." Later, I apparently told her that I didn't know about her at first, "because you seemed a little preppy...but you're ok!" In my defense, I don't remember saying this. :) She became one of the inner circle of 12 or so in our group of 'regulars' in the scene.
Somewhere in my senior year, in the course of my relationships in the poetry scene, I experienced a fairly serious faith crisis, and Jen was kind of the 'listening person' during that time. I can't remember anything she said, but I do remember her not making me feel like an alien while I processed my questions. That was worth its weight in gold. It didn't panic her; she and I were both big fans of one of our lit profs, Dr. de Rosset, who emphasized 'process' - and doubt, I guess really, is just a phase in the process of faith. There's a quote I like in Doctor Faustus by Thomas Mann (and don't judge me on the context, which refers to alchemy and sorcery which I am not advocating) that says "Apostasy is an act of faith, and everything is and happens in God - falling away from him most especially." I survived my crisis, with a new brokenness and humility that came from looking at faith from the other side - the desperate lost feeling of losing your best friend and finding yourself on the slippery ceilings of a universe that had no floor, feeling as though "[your] own hand might fly up and strike [you]" (The Man Who Was Thursday, GK Chesterton). Though I had the horror of looking over into a deep darkness of a Grand Canyon sized hole held back only by a thin metal bar that could not possibly keep me from falling into its magnetic depths, it turned out God had a hold of me from behind and let me see it for a reason. And Jen was a friend in that dark moment - I will always be grateful for that. :)
Well, we're nearly done watching a reality show about the Judds - Jen's guilty reality show pleasure. Jen says Ashley Judd's memoir All That's Bitter and Sweet about her past and helping women escape sex trafficking/educate them about AIDS was surprisingly intelligent, powerful and spiritual...not just a movie star telling her story - nor does it make almost any mention of her movie star lifestyle...Did you know Ashley went to Harvard for her graduate degree? Who knew? Jen had to use a dictionary to read her book, and she's pretty darn smart herself, so that's saying something. Anyway, Jamie's off to have some Jamie-time, and I'm going to spend some time reviewing poetry for the upcoming shows and maybe do some sharing of it w/Jen. :) Yay! Catch y'all later...
Jen's blog - www.loriensleaf.blogspot.com
No comments:
Post a Comment